Happy New Year to those near and far!
I've been seeing social media posts and pics of memories, highlights or even lows from 2018 as well as goals, prayers, and hopes for 2019. Some people might even share a phrase or choose a focus word for the year and then go into further detail about it - past or future oriented. Well, here is my recap and glimpse into the future. Only instead of sharing a few things, I will be sharing one thing - our unexpected news. A shock. A surprise. A wonder. An answered prayer of an 8-year-old boy. A miracle. A gift. A baby. A younger sibling.
Yep. We [our family of four] are expecting the unexpected. I am pregnant, with child. It has been confirmed several times that it is indeed a baby - not an alien or very rare hormone-producing tumor, but a wiggly and happily growing baby. The ultrasound tech said it was such a squirmy baby and that it must be such a happy baby - doing a happy dance! I think it was sending us a message - that it's happy to be alive and a part of our lives, a part of our treasured family. Some of you (perhaps many by now) already know this. For others, this is new news to you.
This unexpected news that came as a big shock in 2018 will no doubt bring much change and delight in 2019. We are adding to our family in a way that was unplanned but is definitely not unwanted. While it may not have been a part of our plans, God has different plans and we are joining Him for the ride - a rather miraculous and wondrous ride full of mixed emotions, paradoxes, and uncertainty! And that's really all you need to know...
Although I am sure you have more questions - like how, how did this come to be, how are you dealing with it, how are you feeling, how far along; and when, when are you due, when are you getting a minivan 😂; and what, what are you having, what do the kids think etc.
I may not be able to answer all of your questions, but here's what I will share with you.
The expressed desire of an 8-year-old boy wanting another sibling (a brother to be exact) was the beginning of conversations telling him that it would take a miracle for that to happen. That 8-year-old boy is our son and those conversations didn't cause him to shrink back from praying. For the first time, I felt my heart begin to grieve that we would not be able to give that to him, especially knowing that he would make such an amazing big brother. Those talks happened earlier on, sometime in 2018. Looking back, I see it as one way that God began softening and preparing my heart for what was to come - expecting the unexpected.
Even so, having another baby was not in our (my husband and I's) plans nor in our prayers. According to us, we were 'done' and we made that decision a few years ago, or so we thought. While making that decision, I needed to know deep within - no matter what we decide - there is still space for God. At that time, without telling anyone, I believed in my heart by faith that I was leaving space for Him - whatever that might look like, from there on out. And that was that. Simple trust. What we are learning now, in a very real way, is that God is bigger and better than any decisions we make, no matter how long ago, or how unexpected, or how seemingly impossible to overturn or redeem. For with God, all things are possible. God made a way where there seemed to be no way (pun intended 😉). And if you ask our son, he would say that he [his prayers] had something to do with it as well!
Even so, having another baby was not in our (my husband and I's) plans nor in our prayers. According to us, we were 'done' and we made that decision a few years ago, or so we thought. While making that decision, I needed to know deep within - no matter what we decide - there is still space for God. At that time, without telling anyone, I believed in my heart by faith that I was leaving space for Him - whatever that might look like, from there on out. And that was that. Simple trust. What we are learning now, in a very real way, is that God is bigger and better than any decisions we make, no matter how long ago, or how unexpected, or how seemingly impossible to overturn or redeem. For with God, all things are possible. God made a way where there seemed to be no way (pun intended 😉). And if you ask our son, he would say that he [his prayers] had something to do with it as well!
Although we can't explain it fully, what I do know is that when something is unexplainable and unexpected, look for the grace. A prayer of mine since finding out and feeling a paradox of emotions has been - may the favor of the Lord rest upon this child, for every good and perfect gift comes from above, from a good Father. What a precious gift we have been given! For when you look for the grace, you may just discover a miracle - perhaps, a tiny but no less mighty of a miracle. And that's exactly what we are experiencing. (see my previous blog post, For with God)
Our unexpected news of this growing new life has been spreading slowly the good old fashioned way with face to face conversations and phone calls. We pondered, protected, and processed it personally and among our family and a few friends for a little while. The general response has been the same as ours was initially - shock and surprise sprinkled with questions and anticipation. A few have expressed feeling pangs of jealousy and longing - I understand and empathize with you. Some have expressed worry and even dread at the thought of the 'unexpected' happening to them as it has to us, with eyes wide open - gasp!
Many, however, have expressed happiness and excitement for us. To be honest, it has taken us (my husband and me) a little while longer to catch up. And that's okay. A few of you reading this will understand that process from your own story. Day by day, we are getting there - with a growing sense of gratitude, awe, and anticipation of some things to come of which we know from experience, and much more we do not yet know. We are certainly looking forward to how this child will not only be an answer to prayer, but how it will add new adventure, wonder, and delight... along with those dreaded sleepless nights - wink!
Many, however, have expressed happiness and excitement for us. To be honest, it has taken us (my husband and me) a little while longer to catch up. And that's okay. A few of you reading this will understand that process from your own story. Day by day, we are getting there - with a growing sense of gratitude, awe, and anticipation of some things to come of which we know from experience, and much more we do not yet know. We are certainly looking forward to how this child will not only be an answer to prayer, but how it will add new adventure, wonder, and delight... along with those dreaded sleepless nights - wink!
To answer some more of your questions:
How are you feeling?
If I have been quiet or distant lately it's because I haven't been feeling well. The first 14ish weeks were BLAH - pretty much all day and all evening long. Thankfully, the fog of blah-ness has been lifting and I am starting to feel better and functional, as long as I don't overdo it since we have plenty of re-arranging, de-cluttering, and new projects to accomplish to make room for another Slaughter in the house! (And yes, a minivan will likely be in the works 😊)
If I have been quiet or distant lately it's because I haven't been feeling well. The first 14ish weeks were BLAH - pretty much all day and all evening long. Thankfully, the fog of blah-ness has been lifting and I am starting to feel better and functional, as long as I don't overdo it since we have plenty of re-arranging, de-cluttering, and new projects to accomplish to make room for another Slaughter in the house! (And yes, a minivan will likely be in the works 😊)
How far along, when are you due, what are you having?
I am 4 months. Due around June 19. We are having a wiggly, squirmy, happy baby. Gender to be determined. Hadley wants a girl, Beckett wants a boy, Danny thinks it's a girl, and I initially thought it was a boy, but now I have no idea and no preference. We explained to the kids that when God answers our prayers it doesn't always look the way we wished or thought it would - hence, it could be a girl, but no less an answer to prayer, even in ways we can't yet fully see. One of them will initially be disappointed. And that's okay. As with most things in life, we will help them process it and look for the grace. Both of them are handling it with sensitivity and excitement! Both will be amazing big siblings no matter if it's a boy or girl. For God has already determined the gender and His choice is good. We are mostly praying for a healthy baby (and good sleeper 😇).
I am 4 months. Due around June 19. We are having a wiggly, squirmy, happy baby. Gender to be determined. Hadley wants a girl, Beckett wants a boy, Danny thinks it's a girl, and I initially thought it was a boy, but now I have no idea and no preference. We explained to the kids that when God answers our prayers it doesn't always look the way we wished or thought it would - hence, it could be a girl, but no less an answer to prayer, even in ways we can't yet fully see. One of them will initially be disappointed. And that's okay. As with most things in life, we will help them process it and look for the grace. Both of them are handling it with sensitivity and excitement! Both will be amazing big siblings no matter if it's a boy or girl. For God has already determined the gender and His choice is good. We are mostly praying for a healthy baby (and good sleeper 😇).
What do the kids think?
Our kids - ages 10 (daughter) and 8 (son) - couldn't be more happy, expectant and excited! This time around one thing is known for sure, we have the best helpers and big siblings for this little one. For that, we are so blessed and thrilled! It will be so wonderful and joyous watching them be a part of this new adventure with us!!!
Our kids - ages 10 (daughter) and 8 (son) - couldn't be more happy, expectant and excited! This time around one thing is known for sure, we have the best helpers and big siblings for this little one. For that, we are so blessed and thrilled! It will be so wonderful and joyous watching them be a part of this new adventure with us!!!
So, that's our New Year's news - unexpected but not unwanted. It's been a roller coaster of a ride thus far, to say the least. But this we know is certain... Life is a journey. We are persons in process. God is miraculous, wondrous and full of surprises, yet unchanging in His grace and goodness lavished upon us. Family is a gift and adding one more child to ours only adds to the treasure chest we already cherish. With that being said, we know that our 2019 will be wonderful and worthwhile.
Here's hoping your 2019 is full of unexpected yet wonderful and worthwhile gifts that will add to your cherished treasure chest... Expecting the unexpected, overflowing with grace and goodness!
Grace and peace ~
SS
SS
"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart"
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