My son's class had "muffins for moms" this morning at school. With consideration and sensitivity, I wondered beforehand how this was going to play out with the kids who didn't have a "mom" that could be there.
This is how it went...
As a group of us were walking to the classroom, a "mom" among us looked around and mentioned that she would probably be the only grandma there, yet a grandma who fills the role of mom because mom is on drugs. She went on to share more about their situation with me as a stranger, yet a stranger who has walked with a few friends and neighbors and has witnessed the great devastation caused by drug abuse and addiction.
His teacher did an excellent job of welcoming us, honoring us, and acknowledging different situations where other family members, friends or caregivers fill the role of mom, while encouraging us "moms" present to be aware of any students without someone there, and to be willing to join with them.
As I looked around the room, I think there was about one kid at each table who did not have a "mom" present. I couldn't help but notice one of those kids downcast and disengaged, and another one with tearful eyes because their "mom" could not be there. This broke my heart. It made it hard for me to be fully present with my son. Then, I saw the grandma "mom" reach out to the downcast and disengaged one at her table. I saw the teacher "mom" console the tearful one who left her table. I saw the mom beside me reach out to the mom-less child on the other side of her. This blessed my heart. Even though there wasn't a mom-less child next to us, everything within me was inclined to do the same - to join with, to reach out, to extend kindness, to offer comfort, to hold closely, to cheer up, to somehow bring a smile out of the sadness.
The tearful one "likes-likes" my son. He thinks she's "coo-coo" because she and another girl chase him at recess and race to sit by him at lunch. Even though he would prefer to keep her at a distance, we have talked about appropriate friendliness and kindness, especially since she has a difficult family situation - that it's okay to not "like-like" her, that it's right for you to tell her plainly that you don't want to be chased or touched, that it's also okay and right for you to be friendly and kind to her.
I recognized that this would be a great opportunity for my son to extend friendliness and kindness toward her. I pointed out to him her reddened face from crying - that she must be sad. He knew why. She had shared part of her story with us at lunch one day. Being a "mama's boy", he was sad for her. Hindsight, I should have asked him if there was anything he would like to do in response - something friendly and kind, something that would be okay and right. I should have given him the chance to come up with an idea and carry it out. To see what he would come up with and enrich the teaching moment. To train him up kindly and rightly. However, without being forceful, I went ahead and asked if he would be willing to go over to the tearful one and see if she wants to come sit with us.
Willingly and courageously, he did just that as I watched from a short distance. I could not have been more proud of his tenderness and kindness. It brought my tearful heart tremendous joy. I could have done it myself, but it gave me greater joy to watch my son put kindness into practice. This is grace. The recognition and reception of grace brings joy to the receiver, the giver, and the onlooker. If we only would be more aware and willing every day, to see the opportunities to extend kindness and goodness.
Because in this world full of a great deal of sadness, badness, and madness... Grace is greater...
Where there is a tearful one,
Where there is a troubled one,
Look for the grace.
Where there is a disengaged one,
Only by His grace ~
SS
John 1:14-18; Romans 2:1-4, 3:21-26, 5:1-21; Ephesians 2:1-10; Titus 3:1-8; Luke 6, 10:25-37
This is how it went...
As a group of us were walking to the classroom, a "mom" among us looked around and mentioned that she would probably be the only grandma there, yet a grandma who fills the role of mom because mom is on drugs. She went on to share more about their situation with me as a stranger, yet a stranger who has walked with a few friends and neighbors and has witnessed the great devastation caused by drug abuse and addiction.
His teacher did an excellent job of welcoming us, honoring us, and acknowledging different situations where other family members, friends or caregivers fill the role of mom, while encouraging us "moms" present to be aware of any students without someone there, and to be willing to join with them.
As I looked around the room, I think there was about one kid at each table who did not have a "mom" present. I couldn't help but notice one of those kids downcast and disengaged, and another one with tearful eyes because their "mom" could not be there. This broke my heart. It made it hard for me to be fully present with my son. Then, I saw the grandma "mom" reach out to the downcast and disengaged one at her table. I saw the teacher "mom" console the tearful one who left her table. I saw the mom beside me reach out to the mom-less child on the other side of her. This blessed my heart. Even though there wasn't a mom-less child next to us, everything within me was inclined to do the same - to join with, to reach out, to extend kindness, to offer comfort, to hold closely, to cheer up, to somehow bring a smile out of the sadness.
The tearful one "likes-likes" my son. He thinks she's "coo-coo" because she and another girl chase him at recess and race to sit by him at lunch. Even though he would prefer to keep her at a distance, we have talked about appropriate friendliness and kindness, especially since she has a difficult family situation - that it's okay to not "like-like" her, that it's right for you to tell her plainly that you don't want to be chased or touched, that it's also okay and right for you to be friendly and kind to her.
I recognized that this would be a great opportunity for my son to extend friendliness and kindness toward her. I pointed out to him her reddened face from crying - that she must be sad. He knew why. She had shared part of her story with us at lunch one day. Being a "mama's boy", he was sad for her. Hindsight, I should have asked him if there was anything he would like to do in response - something friendly and kind, something that would be okay and right. I should have given him the chance to come up with an idea and carry it out. To see what he would come up with and enrich the teaching moment. To train him up kindly and rightly. However, without being forceful, I went ahead and asked if he would be willing to go over to the tearful one and see if she wants to come sit with us.
Willingly and courageously, he did just that as I watched from a short distance. I could not have been more proud of his tenderness and kindness. It brought my tearful heart tremendous joy. I could have done it myself, but it gave me greater joy to watch my son put kindness into practice. This is grace. The recognition and reception of grace brings joy to the receiver, the giver, and the onlooker. If we only would be more aware and willing every day, to see the opportunities to extend kindness and goodness.
Because in this world full of a great deal of sadness, badness, and madness... Grace is greater...
Where there is sadness so great,
Where there is downcast faces,
Grace is greater.
Where there is downcast faces,
Grace is greater.
Where there is loneliness and pain,
Where there is wishing and missing,
Grace is greater.
Where there is badness and shame,
Where there is madness and blame,
Where this is darkness and devastation,
Where there is wishing and missing,
Grace is greater.
Where there is badness and shame,
Where there is madness and blame,
Where this is darkness and devastation,
Grace is greater.
Where there is a tearful one,
Where there is a troubled one,
Look for the grace.
Where there is a disengaged one,
Where there is a disrespectful one,
Look for the grace.
Where this is an angry one,
Look for the grace.
Where this is an angry one,
Where this is an addicted one,
Where there is an ungrateful one,
Look for the grace
Where there is an ungrateful one,
Look for the grace
Where there is great darkness, be the greater light that grace is.
Where there is great devastation, be the life-giving greatness that grace is.
Where there is sadness and badness and madness so great, Grace is greater.
Where there is great devastation, be the life-giving greatness that grace is.
Where there is sadness and badness and madness so great, Grace is greater.
SS
John 1:14-18; Romans 2:1-4, 3:21-26, 5:1-21; Ephesians 2:1-10; Titus 3:1-8; Luke 6, 10:25-37
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